bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
