Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
