no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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