whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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