Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize