Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
