Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
