I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
