I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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