Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
