All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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