when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize