soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
