You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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