I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
