I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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