3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
