It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
