I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize