Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
God, I missed his penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
