I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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