i barfeds in our rink
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
