I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
