i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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