Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
