Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
