who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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