i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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