i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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