I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
