tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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