pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
