I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
