Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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