STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
