My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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