Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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