Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
