this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
