porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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