don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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