It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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