Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
