Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
