Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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