hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
