What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it was like eating out sand paper
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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