no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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