how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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