i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
