Me too!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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