i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
