I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
