I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize