yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
