She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
