Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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