you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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