Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
jump out the window naked night went bad
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
