You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
