3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize