dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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