We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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