What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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