and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
