So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
