I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
