they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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