i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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