I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
