you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
