He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sobbing to NWA
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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