dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
